Self-Esteem – Therapist Support
Therapists who support clients with self-esteem.
Therapist Support for Self-Esteem
What this concern or topic means (neutral, non-clinical)
Self-esteem generally refers to how someone views and values themselves. It can include beliefs about worth, competence, lovability, identity, and how deserving a person feels of care, respect, and boundaries. Many people notice self-esteem concerns through their inner voice, their relationships, or how they respond to mistakes and successes.
Experiences that may influence self-esteem can include family dynamics, cultural and community messages, school or workplace environments, experiences of bias or oppression, relationship patterns, and past hurtful or confusing events. Self-esteem can also be shaped by social media, expectations about body image, gender roles, or success, and by how people around someone respond to their needs and limits.
Low or shaky self-esteem may show up in many different ways, such as difficulty trusting one’s own judgment, feeling like an “imposter,” having trouble saying no, or having a hard time taking in positive feedback. Some people may appear confident on the outside while feeling very unsure or critical of themselves on the inside. Others may feel numb or disconnected from any sense of self at all.
How trauma-informed therapists may approach it
Trauma-informed support for self-esteem often recognizes that feeling “not good enough” or “too much” can be a response to experiences where a person’s needs, limits, or identity were not respected. A trauma-informed perspective tends to view self-esteem concerns within the context of what someone has lived through, rather than as a personal flaw or weakness.
Many trauma-informed therapists keep an eye on safety, choice, and collaboration. They may invite conversations about power dynamics, cultural identities, and the impact of oppression, discrimination, or community harm on how a person sees themselves. The focus often includes both internal experiences (thoughts, emotions, body sensations) and external realities (current relationships, work, school, and environment).
This kind of approach may also explore how protective strategies developed over time—such as perfectionism, people-pleasing, withdrawing, or staying hyper-independent—once helped someone get through difficult situations, even if those same strategies now feel limiting or painful. Self-esteem work in a trauma-informed frame often honors these strategies as understandable responses, while gently making space for new possibilities.
What clients might expect from support
People seeking support with self-esteem may find space to name the stories they have carried about themselves and where those stories may have come from. Some explore how early relationships, cultural or family messages, or past violations of trust have influenced their beliefs about their own worth. Others may focus more on present-day challenges, such as feeling small or silenced in certain relationships, or struggling with self-criticism when things go wrong.
Support may involve slowing down and noticing inner experiences related to shame, doubt, or self-blame, at a pace that feels tolerable. Some people explore how their body reacts when they try to stand up for themselves, accept praise, or imagine being treated with consistent respect. Others may be interested in gently experimenting with different ways of speaking to themselves, making choices, or setting limits in everyday life.
Over time, people sometimes describe feeling more curious about themselves rather than purely critical. They may notice small shifts in how they make decisions, how they respond to mistakes, or how willing they are to consider that they are worthy of care and safety. There is no single “right” way for self-esteem work to look; it is often shaped by a person’s goals, cultural background, identities, and current circumstances.
Choosing a therapist with this specialization
When looking for a therapist who focuses on self-esteem, some people pay attention to how they feel in the first few conversations: Do they feel listened to, believed, and treated with respect? Is there room to talk about identity, culture, gender, sexuality, disability, class, or faith, and how these experiences shape their sense of self? It may be helpful to look for language such as “trauma-informed,” “strengths-based,” “identity-affirming,” or “social justice oriented” if those feel important.
Reading a therapist’s profile can offer clues about their perspective. Some people look for mention of self-esteem, shame, inner critic, perfectionism, boundaries, people-pleasing, or relational trauma. Others may check whether the therapist names experience with domestic or interpersonal violence, and may also explore educational resources such as https://www.dv.support to better understand how patterns of harm can affect self-worth over time.
It is common to ask questions about how a therapist understands self-esteem and how they work with it. For example, someone might ask how the therapist feels about cultural or community expectations, or about balancing self-compassion with accountability. It is also okay if it takes time to figure out whether a therapist is a good fit. Many people try a few meetings, notice how they feel during and after, and then decide whether they wish to continue, switch providers, or pause the search.